I highly recommend How to Hold a Cockroach by Matthew Maxwell. This is my personal reflection on how the book made me question my assumptions, reconsider my perspective in relationships, and think about connections to Stoic philosophy and Brené Brown’s Rising Strong. It didn’t take me long to read, but almost every chapter made me stop and think about something in my own life.
I kept coming back to this question: Is this true, or have I simply believed it to be true for so long that I stopped questioning it?
I thought about beliefs I’ve carried since childhood. About how feelings and circumstances can lead us to conclusions that feel real, even when we may not fully understand what happened. I thought about current relationships, too, and how easily we read into someone’s words or actions through our own experiences, without really knowing what that person is going through.
Even the cockroach gives us something to consider. We see an intruder. From its perspective, it’s simply trying to survive. We’re part of the same encounter, but we experience it very differently.
I also found myself thinking about a few other books I’ve read recently and how their ideas connect. One was Brené Brown’s Rising Strong, particularly the idea of approaching people with the belief that they’re doing their best. That perspective gives me a reason to pause and consider what someone might be dealing with that I can’t see.
There was a connection to Stoic philosophy for me, too. I can’t always change a situation, but I can consider how I respond to it. I can try to understand it more fully before jumping to conclusions, then decide how to make the best of what’s in front of me.
None of that makes our feelings any less real. It does make me wonder how often I’ve confused my perspective with the whole picture. How often have I assumed I understood someone’s intentions? How much room have I left for an explanation I hadn’t considered?
I enjoyed having a reason to sit with those questions. This book made me ponder a lot in my life, and that’s why I’m recommending it.